Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

I turned my whole life around.

I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.

Why does a dog lick himself?

He can't make a fist.

What do the aborigine call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.

An inventor walks into the Patent Office office and says to the girl behind the desk, "I'd like to register my new invention, a folding bottle."

The clerk asks. "What do you call it?" He tells her, "I call it a fottle." She says, "That's kind of silly, but OK we can set you up."

He says, "Thanks, I'll work on the name. Hey, I also have a folding carton too."

She says, "Really? And what do you call that?" He says, "A farton."

She says in disgust, "That's totally offensive. You can't use that name."

He says, "Uh-oh! I guess I'll have to scratch the one I was going to use for my folding bucket."