Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
My wife remarked: "That Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. If I ever got it I think I'd shoot myself"
I replied: "You said that five minutes ago."
And that's when the fight started....
Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?
He said he could stop anytime.
What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?
One who knows how to fix elevators.
