Just Plain Funny
Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!
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What's the job application at Hooters?
They just hand you a bra and say: "Here, fill this out."
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Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it to you this way. I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny, well, let's consider her The Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it all makes sense to you."
So Little Johnny goes off to bed thinking about what his Dad has told him. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room to find his diapers are badly soiled. So Johnny goes to his parents’ room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He finally gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, Johnny says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand exactly what politics is."
"Good son, tell me in your own words what you've learned."
Little Johnny replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.