A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Liberals vs. Conservatives

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What's the difference between a conservative and a liberal?

A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.

Flying Dogs

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Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares the shit out of their dogs!

Please, Tell Me What You Really Think

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A woman is checking out in the grocery line. She places one apple, a small ready-made salad, a frozen dinner, and a pint of ice cream on the conveyor.

The guy ringing everything up smiles at her and says: "I'll bet your single." The woman looks back and asks: "How did you know, by my choice of food?."

The guy replies: "No, 'cause you're ugly."

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Gotta Stay In Business

What do pimps and farmers have in common?

They both need a hoe to stay in business.

Probably a Bad Practice

Dr. Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while, he'd hear an internal voice that said, "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go."

But invariably, the another voice would bring him back to reality. "But Dave, you're a vet."

 

Just Like My Husband

Two gals were shopping at the supermarket. The first one grabs a good sized potato in each hand and says, "These remind me of my husband's balls."

Her friend looked impressed and replied, "That big, huh?"

"Nope," was the response, "That dirty."