Why don't blind people skydive?
It scares the shit out of their dogs!
Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."
A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia."
His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What're you going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?"
The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."
My wife suggested: "Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!"
So I told her: "Sure... but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on."
And that's when the fight started...
