What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
Here at Dick Joke of the Day we are thinking about selling our own brand of T-Shirts.
They'll read: "LIFE'S A DICK. WHEN IT GETS HARD, FUCK IT!"
I come home from work to find my wife in tears sobbing her mom passed away. She asks: "What should we do -- cremate her or bury her?"
I tell her: "Don't take any chances. Do both."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife and I were discussing the current state of NASA and the space program. She asked: "Why do you think they never sent a woman to the moon?"
I told her: "'Cause it doesn't need cleaning."