Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

I quit my job at the helium gas factory.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

We named our daughter after my wife's mother.

Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 next week.

I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.

Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."

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My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.

When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.

And that's when the fight started...

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

Hate To Cop An Attitude, But...