I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.
Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."
Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the pool."
What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?
He heads over to the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.
(Ah please... just google it!)
What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?
Your last blow job.
