I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.
Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."
Why don't Canadians attend orgies?
Too many thank-you notes to write afterwards.
What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives every woman wild?
A hundred dollar bill!
Wife: "Will you love me when I'm old and fat?"
Husband: "I do."
And that's when the fight started...
