I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.
Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."
Last year, on Valentine's Day, my fiancée of five years bought me a lottery ticket and I won $10 Million!!
I wonder what she's doing nowadays?
My wife caught me measuring my dick and snickered: "So how long is it?"
I told her: "Long enough to reach the back of your sister's throat!"
And that's when the fight started...
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
