A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

No Aid Available To Fix This

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My wife is constantly complaining that I don't listen to her...

...or something like that.

It Was Easy

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In college I wanted to join the debating team.

But somebody talked me out of it.

Easy To Get Lost

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A drunk's walking along and smacks right into a tree. He backs up a few steps and then walks into the tree again. And then he does it again!

Finally he mumbles to himself, "This is great. I was supposed to be home hours ago, and here I am, lost in the fuckin' forest."

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How To Score

A guy takes a girl out to dinner for their 1st date. She orders shrimp cocktail, filet mignon - medium rare, a loaded baked potato, the vegetable medley, and crème brulee' for desert. Then before the waiter leaves she adds a bottle of expensive wine.

The guy looks at her and says, "Does your mother feed you like that?"

She says, "No... but my mother's not looking to fuck me."

Do You Know How To Please A Woman?

Studies have been done to determine what pleases a woman. Turns out it takes only 3.4 inches to please a woman.

Doesn't matter if its Visa or MasterCard

A Change For The Worse


My wife was telling me all about this new transgender thing... you know, where guys turn themselves into women. I said to her: "Yeah. Well that ain't nothin' You know how to turn a fox into an elephant?"

She said: "How?" I told her: "Marry it."

And that's when the fight started...