I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
Two little old ladies were at the slots in Atlantic City. One asks: "So... did you come on the bus?"
Her friend replied: "Yeah, but I made it look like an asthma attack."
How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?
You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.
My wife and I were discussing the differences between men and women. She asked: "So what do you think the biggest difference is?"
I told her: "What comes to mind when I say I'd like to give you a facial!"
And that's when the fight started...
