I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Why is Santa Claus always so happy?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live
Guy goes to his boss and asks for a day off, proudly saying: "My wife's gonna have a baby!" The boss tells him of course you can take the day off.
Two days later the guy shows up for work and the boss asks him: "So... was it a boy or a girl."
The guy replies: "How do I know... it takes nine months!"
