What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo
A man goes to a $10 hooker and gets the crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
What's the difference between sin and shame?
It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
My wife told me I should be more affectionate.
So I told her I got a girlfriend.
And that's when the fight started...
