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Just Plain Funny

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Deductive Reasoning

Created: 15 September 2016
Hits: 3429

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping. As they look up into the sky, Holmes asks, "Watson, tell me what you see."

Watson says, "I see millions of stars." Holmes then asks, "And what does that tell you?" Watson thinks for a minute then says, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes answers, "It tells me somebody stole our fucking tent."

Been A Long Time

Created: 14 September 2016
Hits: 3159

I was thinking about when my girlfriend & I first met. I realized I've been going out with her for...

sex.

Call The Coroner

Created: 13 September 2016
Hits: 2728

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

How Do You Know For Sure

How do you know if a hippie's been staying at your house?

He's still there.

Doctor's Recommendation

A doctor is meeting with a husband after examining his wife. The doctor tells him: "Your wife's diagnosis is uncertain. She either has Aids or she has Alzheimers."

The husband asks: "What should I do, doc?"

The doctor advises him: "Drive her five miles outside of town and drop her off. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

Might As Well Take In A Round

We were at the couples pregnancy preparation class. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe & was telling the men how to give the necessary support to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just make several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

Then she turned to the men in the room, "Gentlemen, remember, you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her."  The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Wanting to get into the swing of things I quickly raised my hand and asked the instructor, "Would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk ?"

And that's when the fight started...

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