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Just Plain Funny

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Deductive Reasoning

Created: 15 September 2016
Hits: 3176

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping. As they look up into the sky, Holmes asks, "Watson, tell me what you see."

Watson says, "I see millions of stars." Holmes then asks, "And what does that tell you?" Watson thinks for a minute then says, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes answers, "It tells me somebody stole our fucking tent."

Been A Long Time

Created: 14 September 2016
Hits: 2994

I was thinking about when my girlfriend & I first met. I realized I've been going out with her for...

sex.

Call The Coroner

Created: 13 September 2016
Hits: 2567

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Please Don't Disturb The Peace

A guy goes in to see an optometrist.

The doctor says, "You have to stop masturbating."

The guy says, "Why? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

Thanksgiving Day Football

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

White Parts Anyone?

How's a sun-tanned girl like a roast chicken?

The white parts are the best.

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