What'd the Polish guy say when he came home and found his best friend on top of his wife?
Down, Fido, down boy!
I told my wife: You know the trouble with most women? They get all excited over nothing!"
She said: "Yeah, I know what you mean, I married him."
And that's when the fight started...
I was reminiscing with my wife about when we first got married, So I gave her a little nudge and asked: "Honey... what was the hardest thing for you on our honeymoon?"
She smiled at me and said: "Saying ouch like I meant it."
What did the guy say to his dick when he saw the girl he was about to fuck had genital warts?
"Hang on, boy! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!"