We named our daughter after my wife's mother.
Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 next week.
Why aren't federal government employees allowed to look out the window in the morning?
Because then they would have nothing to do in the afternoon.
What's the difference between love and herpes?
Love doesn't last forever.
When we first started dating I wanted to show my girfriend I was serious. So I changed my Facebook status to "in a relationship."
When I told her she said: "It should've been changd to 'under new management!'"
And that's when the fight started...
