My wife is constantly complaining that I don't listen to her...
...or something like that.
A woman visits the doctor, with bumps and bruises all over her body. She complains that it was her husband who beat her.
The doctor is surprised: "I thought your husband was out of town."
"So did I..."
I took this divorced broad I met in a bar back to my place the other night. The next morning I asked her, "Well, how was I?"
She said, "The truth? I wasn't too happy with the size of your organ."
So I told her, "Yeah? Well I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral."
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
(Hope that one wasn't too bad!)
