My wife is constantly complaining that I don't listen to her...
...or something like that.
I told my wife, "Honey, I bought some Olympic condoms today. I think I'll wear Gold tonight."
She replied, "Why not wear Silver and not finish first for a change?"
And that's when the fight started...
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.
I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
College professor to her creative writing class, "Your assignment - write the shortest story you can that includes religion, sex and mystery."
Only one girl got an A on her paper. She wrote: "Good God, I'm pregnant ... I wonder who did it?"
