My wife is constantly complaining that I don't listen to her...
...or something like that.
Why don't blind people skydive?
It scares the shit out of their dogs!
What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer?
A fuckin know-it-all!
A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"
"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."
