My wife is constantly complaining that I don't listen to her...
...or something like that.
Little schoolgirl asks her mom: "Is it true that babies come out where boys put their wieners in?" "Yes, honey." her mom assures her.
"Won't that knock my teeth out?"
At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.
My wife was at the sink grousing about the dishes again. She asked me: "How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?"
I told her: "Both of them."
And that's when the fight started...