Eyeglass Problem Solved

What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses & breaks them?

Take them off next time.

Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.

What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?

See you next period.

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots & starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."