What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses & breaks them?
Take them off next time.
Two women are stuck on one side of the boulevard as a parade passes through... complete with floats, a marching band, and hot air balloons.
One gal asks the other: "What's this all about?" Her friend tells her: "It's the gay pride parade."
The first gal replies: "Yeah. Well I suck dick and take it up the ass. Where's my fuckin' parade?"
A car salesman sits down at a bar next to a hooker.
He orders a drink and says: "If I don't sell some cars I'm going to lose my ass."
The hooker looks at him and says: "Yeah... well if I don't sell some ass I'm gonna lose my car."
One night while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep my wife asked me a real stupid question: "Honey, why do you think god gave men a dick?"
I opened one eye and told her: "So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!"
And that;s when the fight started...
