A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

No Need To See The Shrink

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What happened to the depressed dyslexic?

He threw himself behind the bus.

It's Obvious When You Think About It

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What do you call a rabbit with no feet?

Unlucky.

All Roads Lead to the Bar

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A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please”.

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In The Spirit of Giving

The local United Way discovers that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. So a local volunteer calls him and says, "Even though your annual income is well over a million dollars, our research shows you've never made a donation to our organization. Would you like to give back to the community through The United Way?"

The lawyer says, "First, did your research show that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and has huge medical bills far beyond her ability to pay?" The rep says, "No."

The lawyer says, "Second, did your research show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?" The rep says, "No."

The lawyer says, "And finally, did your research show that my sister's husband died in a terrible car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children?" The rep says, "I had no idea."

So the lawyer says: "Think about it. If I wouldn't give to any of them, why the hell would I give to you!"

A Night On The Town

After a night of drinking, drugs and wild sex, I woke up to find myself next to a really ugly woman.  

That's when I realized I made it home safely.

Even After You're Dead...

How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?

The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.