Every Frickin' Joke

A Real Magic Trick

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 25 April 2015; Hits: 2253

A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?"

She says, "What's that?"

He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."

Best Way To Go

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 24 April 2015; Hits: 2667

When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather...in his sleep.

Not screaming like the other passengers in his car.

Don't Blow It ... Or Maybe You Should?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 23 April 2015; Hits: 2180

Did you hear about the girl who had three chances to get pregnant?

Blew 'em all.

Bulaaaah!

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 22 April 2015; Hits: 2740

How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?

The cake jumps out of the girl.

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Be Nice Or You Won't Get Any

Little Johnny's walking along with his father when he sees a butterfly. He grabs it, throws it on the ground,and stomps on it. His father says, "Son, that was unnecessary violence. You may not have any butter for a month."

They walk a little further and Little Johnny sees a honey bee. He grabs it, throws it on the ground, and stomps on it. His father says, "Once again, son, unnecessary violence. You may not have any honey for a month."

That night, Little Johnny's having dinner with his mom and dad when a cockroach goes running across the table. His mother knocks it off the table and stomps on it. Little Johnny looks at his dad and says, "Well, Pop, are you gonna tell her, or should I?"

One Day Down At The Head Shop

Why are roach clips called roach clips?

Because "pot holder" was already taken.

UFO Spotted

Want to see flying saucers?

Head over to the all-night diner and grab the waitress by the ass.