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Shove It!

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 13 April 2015
Hits: 2759

What can a goose do, a duck can't, and your lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.

When I Grow Up...

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 12 April 2015
Hits: 2409

It was dad's turn to take his 10-year old daughter for a haircut... so he took her to his favorite barber.

While she was sitting in the chair with her lollipop the barber walked up and warned, "You're going to get hair on your lollipop."

The little girl nodded and said, "Uh, huh. And I'm gonna get tits, too."

Hop Around

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 11 April 2015
Hits: 2577

Where does a one-legged waitress work?

IHOP

What's her name?

Ilene

You're Not Going To Feel A Thing

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 10 April 2015
Hits: 2373

Girl finishes screwing a guy and says: "You said you're a dentist?" "Yes, I am." he proudly replied.

"You must be a great dentist." "Why do you say that?"

"I didn't feel a thing."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Sometimes You Just Gotta F*ck It

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus and says, "This is a very talented octopus. He can play any instrument in the world. I'll give five hundred bucks to anybody who has an instrument that the octopus can't play."

A guy walks up with a guitar, the octopus takes it, and starts playing like Jimi Hendrix. Another guy walks up with a trumpet, and the octopus plays it better than Dizzy Gillespie.

A third guy walks up with bagpipes. He sits it down, the octopus fumbles with it for a minute, and then he sets it down with a confused look. The guy says, "Hah! You can't play it?"

The octopus looks at him and says, "Play it? As soon as I get its pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it."

Remember This Test From High School?

What'd the hockey player get on his SAT's?

Drool.

Asked About A Nun

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

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