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Shove It!

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 13 April 2015
Hits: 3343

What can a goose do, a duck can't, and your lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.

When I Grow Up...

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 12 April 2015
Hits: 2989

It was dad's turn to take his 10-year old daughter for a haircut... so he took her to his favorite barber.

While she was sitting in the chair with her lollipop the barber walked up and warned, "You're going to get hair on your lollipop."

The little girl nodded and said, "Uh, huh. And I'm gonna get tits, too."

Hop Around

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 11 April 2015
Hits: 3112

Where does a one-legged waitress work?

IHOP

What's her name?

Ilene

You're Not Going To Feel A Thing

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 10 April 2015
Hits: 2977

Girl finishes screwing a guy and says: "You said you're a dentist?" "Yes, I am." he proudly replied.

"You must be a great dentist." "Why do you say that?"

"I didn't feel a thing."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Safety First

When's the best time to put out the cat?

When it's on fire.

Size Does Matter

What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?

About three inches.

Take Your Medicine

A guy goes to the pharmacist and says: "Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night? It's going to be a hell of a party." The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and tells him: "This stuff is potent: drink only one ounce of it, and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know how it goes."

The weekend goes by and on Monday morning the pharmacist finds the same guy waiting for him outside the store. The pharmacist asks: "What are you doing here so early? And how was your weekend?" The guy replies: "Quick, I need Ben-Gay for the pain." The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says: "Are you crazy, you can't put Ben-Gay down there. The skin is way too sensitive." The guy says: "No, no, It's not for that, it's for my arm." The pharmacist asks": "What?? What happened?" Guy replies, "Well...I drank the whole bottle of your potion." The pharmacist: "Oh my god, and then what?"

"The girls never showed up!"

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