Best Way To Go

When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather...in his sleep.

Not screaming like the other passengers in his car.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

How are women like hardwood floors?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.

2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.