Best Way To Go

: Created: 24 April 2015; Hits: 2677

When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather...in his sleep.

Not screaming like the other passengers in his car.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Listen To Your Mother...

Did you hear about the Jewish mother doll?

You pull the string and it says, "Again with the string..."

A Tough Decision

Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest & a pilot are in a plane that's about to crash.

The pilot says: "Well, we only have three parachutes, let's give them to the three Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them."

The lawyer says: "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"

The priest says: "Do we have time?"

This Will Take Might Of Steel

Harry is 85 when he gets married to a 22-year-old. One night after his honeymoon he shows up at the local bar where all the guys want to hear about his wedding night.

"Well," Harry tells them, "We got to the hotel and my youngest son helped me out. First he carried me up the stairs. Then he helped me get undressed. Finally he lifted me onto the bed with my bride, so's me and her could spend the night together. The next morning all three of my sons came upstairs and lifted me off her."

One of his buddies asks him, "Why did it take your three sons to lift you off?"

Harry says, "'Cause I fought 'em."