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Really Paid Off!

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 15 May 2015
Hits: 3016

A guy goes into a bank for a business loan.

The bank manager says, "What kind of business do you want to start?"

The guy says, "I have some black powder. You sprinkle it on pussy and it makes it taste like a peach."

The bank manager says, "I'm afraid we're not interested."

A few months later the guy walks into the bank pushing a wheel barrel full of money.

The bank manager says, "I see that idea for black powder really paid off."

The guy says, "Nah, that didn't go anywhere. I made my money with this white powder."

The bank manager says, "What does it do?"

The guy says, "Give me a peach and I'll show you."

No Joking Around

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 14 May 2015
Hits: 2944

I thought I would kid my wife a little, so I said: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, it's too long."

She shot back: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

And that's when the fight started...

Always Important To Match

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 13 May 2015
Hits: 3365

A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"

He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"

Listen To Your Mother...

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 12 May 2015
Hits: 3638

Did you hear about the Jewish mother doll?

You pull the string and it says, "Again with the string..."

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Stuck In An Elevator

What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?

One who knows how to fix elevators.

Ahh... The Good Old Days

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing.

The first lady recalled shopping at the grocer and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper back then, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about."

Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

A 100-year-old man enters a Catholic confessional and admits "Father, last night I had sex with a couple of 18-year-old girls and it lasted for hours."

The priest sternly replies "That is a sin, I'm going to give you a penance."

The old man laughs "That won't be necessary father, I'm Jewish."

The father, confused, asks "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling everyone!"

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