Did you hear about the girl who had three chances to get pregnant?
Blew 'em all.
What's the difference between the lesbians in porn films and a lesbian in real life?
About 65 pounds.
My girlfriend caught me drying my dick with the hair dryer. She asked: "What are you doing?"
Apparently "Heating up your dinner." wasn't the right answer.
My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.
When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.
And that's when the fight started...
