Did you hear about the girl who had three chances to get pregnant?
Blew 'em all.
What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A lesbian with a hard-on.
Bartender to pirate: Why the paper towel sticking out of your hat?
Pirate: Arrgh, Got a bounty on me head.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?
A microwave doesn't brown your meat!
