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Best Type Of Birth Control

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 07 May 2015
Hits: 3047

What's a birth control pill?

That's the other thing a girl can put in her mouth to keep from getting pregnant.

Rub-A-Dub-Dub

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 06 May 2015
Hits: 3365

The other night I was having sex with my wife when my cell phone rang. I answered it and said: "Can I call you back? I'm in the tub."

And that's when the fight started...

Please Don't Disturb The Peace

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 05 May 2015
Hits: 3096

A guy goes in to see an optometrist.

The doctor says, "You have to stop masturbating."

The guy says, "Why? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

This Should Cure Him

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 04 May 2015
Hits: 3042

A lady takes her husband to the doctor's office.

After his check-up, the doctor calls her into his office and says, "Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease, which, combined with stress, will kill him in a few months. What you have to do is, each morning, fix him a nice breakfast, and be pleasant. Make him a nice lunch to take to work, and for dinner, make meals for him you know he'll enjoy. Don't give him too much to do around the house, especially after he's had a hard day. And don't burden him with too many of your problems, because that'll only increase his stress. And most importantly, make love to him a couple of times a week, and try to give him oral sex once a month or so. If you can do this for the next ten months, I think your husband could regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband says, "What did the doctor say?"

She says, "He said you're gonna die."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Blonde Snowman

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

Just For Decoration, That's It & That's All...

A daughter asks her mother, "How many different kinds of dicks are there?”

The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases in his life. In his 20s, his dick is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

Who Doesn't Love A Younger Woman

What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?

A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

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