Every Frickin' Joke
I Got More Important Things To Do
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3026
Joe gets a ticket to the Super Bowl from his company, but when he gets there, the seat is in the last row way back in the corner of the stadium.
Halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat ten rows off the field, right on the fifty-yard line. He decides to take a chance, and makes his way around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sits down, Joe says to the guy sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anybody sitting here?"
The guy says, "No."
Joe says, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?"
The guy says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't seen together since we got married in 1967."
Joe says, "That's really sad. But couldn't you find anyone to take the seat? A friend, or a close relative?"
The guy says, "No, they're all at the funeral."
Being A Lawyer Isn't So Bad
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 2771
A lawyer asks his partner, "Are you fucking the new secretary?"
The partner tells him, "No."
So the first lawyer says, "Great! Then you fire her."
Who's The Boss
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3119
Harry and his wife go to a party on a Friday night.
Saturday morning they wake up and his wife tells him, "Boy, were you loaded last night. You insulted your boss for ten minutes straight. He finally fired you."
Harry says, "Fuck my boss."
She says, "I did. You go back to work Monday."
Cheaper Than A Motel
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3251
An old couple goes to the doctor. The man says, "We want to know if we're makin' love properly. Will you watch us?"
The doctor says, "Go ahead." So they go to it.
The doctor says, "Looks good to me... That'll be forty dollars."
They go back six weeks in a row and do the same thing each time.
On the seventh week the doctor says, "Why do you keep coming back? I told you, you're making love perfectly."
The old guy says, "Well, she can't come to my house, and I can't go to her's...a motel is fifty bucks...you only charge us forty and we get back thirty-five back from Medicare."
Page 223 of 286