A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Staff Knows Better Than The Boss

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2511

One day the boss calls in the vice-president. "We're downsizing. We have to lay off either Jack or Barbara."

The VP tells him, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I'm not sure what to do."

The next morning the VP is waiting and Barbara is the first to arrive. He tells her, "Barbara, I've got a problem. I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?"

Barbara quickly responds, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

For Those Too Young To Remember

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2683

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?"

Depends On Where You Are

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 3088

I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."

Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"

"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."

Wait For It

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2640

Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin...
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.
.
.
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and tonic.

Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Scratch 'n Sniff

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

They don't have balls to scratch.

If I Had Only Known

The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter. In his highly aroused state, the young man readily agreed. And so this scenario was repeated every time the couple made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was nothing more than a cute way for her to have a little extra to buy new clothes, etc.

Then one day the wife arrived home around noon to find her husband totally distraught in a drunken state. When she asked what happened he told her he was fired and at his age prospects of getting a new job were slim. They were ruined.

Calmly, she opened the desk drawer and pulled out a bank book showing deposits and interest for 30 years totaling nearly $1 million dollars. Pointing out the front window toward the shopping mall she said you see our bank out there? She then handed him stock certificates worth nearly $2 million dollars and told him that he was the largest stockholder in the bank. She explained that for 30 years she had charged him each time they had sex, but she had invested all that money for both of them and this was the result.

By this time the husband was even more distraught and started beating his head against the wall. The shocked wife cried, "Honey, what could possibly be so upsetting after hearing all this good news?"

The husband replied, "If I had known what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!"

The Secret is Out

A guy was complaining to his buddy: "Man, I had it all - money, a big house, a luxury car, and most of all the love of a beautiful woman. And then POOF... just like that it was gone!"

'What happened?' asked his friend.

"My wife found out..."