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Staff Knows Better Than The Boss

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 15 July 2017
Hits: 2479

One day the boss calls in the vice-president. "We're downsizing. We have to lay off either Jack or Barbara."

The VP tells him, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I'm not sure what to do."

The next morning the VP is waiting and Barbara is the first to arrive. He tells her, "Barbara, I've got a problem. I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?"

Barbara quickly responds, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

For Those Too Young To Remember

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 14 July 2017
Hits: 2645

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?"

Depends On Where You Are

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 13 July 2017
Hits: 3046

I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."

Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"

"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."

Wait For It

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 12 July 2017
Hits: 2597

Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin...
.
.
.
.
.
and tonic.

Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Ewwww

What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?

A microwave doesn't brown your meat!

On The Night Beat

A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

You Don't Have To Be An Epidemiologist

Question: Which is more vicious... Killer Bees or Asian Murder Hornets?

Answer: My ex-wife.

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