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Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin...
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and tonic.

Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Bad Habits Are Hard To Break

Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."

"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.

"Waiting for me to get home."

Who Caught What

A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.

Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."

"Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."

Clever Move

A rabbi and a priest get into a bad car accident. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Look at our cars...there's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God." The priest says, "I agree, this must be a sign from God."

The rabbi says, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, yet this bottle of Manischewitz wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune," and he hands the bottle to the priest. The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest.

The priest says, "Aren't you having any?"

The rabbi says, "No, I think I'll just wait for the police."