Wait For It

Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin...
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.
.
.
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and tonic.

Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.

(Hope that one wasn't too bad!)

I asked my wife what she'd do if I won the lottery. She told me she'd take half and leave me.

So I told her: "Great! I won 10 bucks on a scratch-off this morning. Here's your five, now get the fuck out."

And that's when the fight started...

What do you call 8 days of blowjobs by candlelight?

Honica Lewinsky.