Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin........and tonic. Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
Here at Dick Joke of the Day we are thinking about selling our own brand of T-Shirts.
They'll read: "LIFE'S A DICK. WHEN IT GETS HARD, FUCK IT!"
Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest & a pilot are in a plane that's about to crash.
The pilot says: "Well, we only have three parachutes, let's give them to the three Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them."
The lawyer says: "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"
The priest says: "Do we have time?"