Wait For It

Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin...
.
.
.
.
.
and tonic.

Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Two little old ladies were at the slots in Atlantic City. One asks: "So... did you come on the bus?"

Her friend replied: "Yeah, but I made it look like an asthma attack."

My wife and I were discussing the recent death of a friend. She asked me: "Why do you think men die before their wives?"

I said: "Because they want to."

And that's when the fight started...