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Going Downtown

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When do you know you've been married too long?

The only reason you go down on it is because it doesn't talk back.

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Naughty Or Nice

Why is Santa Claus always so happy?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live

How To Score

A guy takes a girl out to dinner for their 1st date. She orders shrimp cocktail, filet mignon - medium rare, a loaded baked potato, the vegetable medley, and crème brulee' for desert. Then before the waiter leaves she adds a bottle of expensive wine.

The guy looks at her and says, "Does your mother feed you like that?"

She says, "No... but my mother's not looking to fuck me."

The Latest Technology

I told my pal: "I got a brand new digital hearing aid, $10,000!" "What kind is it?" he asked.

"Six-thirty."