The difference between a whore & a bitch?
A whore fucks everyone at the party. The bitch? Everyone but you.
10. You're sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.
9. The turkey never suffers from modesty.
8. You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.
7. You are expected to pass the dishes around.
6. There are always at least two kinds of desert, with or without whipped cream.
5. They give you the day off WITH pay to have dinner.
4. Thanksgiving dinner is a "sure" thing.
3. Seconds are encouraged. Take home, too!!
2. You're expected to fall asleep after dinner.
And the number 1 reason why Thanksgiving dinner is better than sex:
1. You are EXPECTED to watch football BEFORE and AFTER dinner.
My buddy was jerking off way too much, so he went to a shrink. Good move. So far he's been able to control his compulsive masturbating. Now he doesn't jerk off nearly as much. He says it feels like he got a huge load off his chest.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."