The difference between a whore & a bitch?
A whore fucks everyone at the party. The bitch? Everyone but you.
A guy gets a prescription from his doctor for Viagra with the instruction to take it one hour before sex.
He gets home, checks his watch and looking for a little action he pops a pill an hour before his wife is due home from work.
But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she would be home late while she ran some errands.
In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will wear off by the time my wife gets home."
"I see," said the doctor. "It is a shame to waste it. Do you have a maid?" "Yes." "Well, you could occupy yourself with her instead?"
"But I don't need Viagra with the maid."
A wife went to see a therapist. "I've got a big problem. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely normal. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
What's the difference between the lesbians in porn films and a lesbian in real life?
About 65 pounds.