A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Who Likes Bananas?

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2850

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

The Smell Test

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2985

How do men sort out their laundry?

Filthy, and filthy but wearable.

Barking Dog, Eventually Stops!

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 3159

Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in?

The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!

Gonna need about 20 minutes

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2909

What did the fresh egg say to the boiling water when the farmer's wife dropped it in?

Don't expect me to get hard so fast... I just got laid by some chick a minute ago.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

It's All How You Look At It

A married couple goes to the same Italian restaurant every Sunday for 30 years. And every time they show up the owner says, "Hey! Its-a you two guys. You my favorite-a couple. You made-a for each other. You last-a so long. You meant-a to be!"

Then one Sunday the guy walks in alone. The owner says, "Whats-a happened?" The guy tells him, "We got a divorce."

The Italian guy says, "Oh, you much-a better off-a now."

99 Bottles Of Beer...

What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?

A beer in each hand.

If I Had Only Known

The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter. In his highly aroused state, the young man readily agreed. And so this scenario was repeated every time the couple made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was nothing more than a cute way for her to have a little extra to buy new clothes, etc.

Then one day the wife arrived home around noon to find her husband totally distraught in a drunken state. When she asked what happened he told her he was fired and at his age prospects of getting a new job were slim. They were ruined.

Calmly, she opened the desk drawer and pulled out a bank book showing deposits and interest for 30 years totaling nearly $1 million dollars. Pointing out the front window toward the shopping mall she said you see our bank out there? She then handed him stock certificates worth nearly $2 million dollars and told him that he was the largest stockholder in the bank. She explained that for 30 years she had charged him each time they had sex, but she had invested all that money for both of them and this was the result.

By this time the husband was even more distraught and started beating his head against the wall. The shocked wife cried, "Honey, what could possibly be so upsetting after hearing all this good news?"

The husband replied, "If I had known what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!"