What's On TV?

Wife walks into the den & asks: "What's on the TV?"

I told her "Dust!"

And that's when the fight started...

Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"

He said, "Everybody."

What does bungee jumping & a hooker have in common?

Cost: a 100 bucks. If the rubber breaks you're screwed.

Why are dicks like fish?

You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.