What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
Forty-five pounds.
4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.
2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.
Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"
"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"
What's the definition of trust?
Two gay cannibals giving each other a blowjob.