Every Frickin' Joke

Simple Test

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 19 February 2016; Hits: 3137

Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a freezer?

The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!

One Difference Between Men And Women

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 18 February 2016; Hits: 2648

My wife and I were discussing the differences between men and women. She asked: "So what do you think the biggest difference is?"

I told her: "What comes to mind when I say I'd like to give you a facial!"

And that's when the fight started...

He Takes The Crown

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 17 February 2016; Hits: 2876

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

Who Likes Flowers?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 16 February 2016; Hits: 2968

What's better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

On The Night Beat

A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

All In Due Time

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he told her with a wink.

That evening, he came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Excited, she opened it to find her gift - a paperback book titled "The Meaning of Dreams."

And that's when the fight started...

Why I Really Married You

Jack and his wife lived in Arizona where the summers are very hot. One day they awoke to a particularly severe heat wave. As he stepped out of the shower he complained to his wife saying, “it’s just too hot to wear any clothes on a day like this. What would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn with no clothes.”

“That I only married you for your money.”

And that's when the fight started...