Every Frickin' Joke
My Favorite Pastime
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2692
I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.
Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."
There's No Substitute
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 2759
I hate it when a girl tries to offer me a lame consolation prize. 'Cause girls will say things like: "Oh, we're not going to have sex, but I'll give you a hand job."
Hey! Newsflash: I have hands... they have the job... the position is filled... I don't need to outsource the work... alright? If you got a pussy for the job, we can talk -- 'cause I am always hiring.
The Doctor Will See You Now
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2464
The receptionist calls the doctor into the waiting room in a panic: "Doctor, the patient you just treated died on his way out the door. What should I do?"
The doctor says, "Turn him around so it looks like he died on the way in."
Can't Wait To Get There
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3917
I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.
The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!
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