What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?
A microwave doesn't brown your meat!
Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)
You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
Two gay guys live together. The first guy says, "Let's play hide and seek. I'll hide, and if you can find me, I'll blow you."
The second guy asks, "What if I can't find you?"
His roomy tells him, "I'll be behind the piano."
