What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?
A microwave doesn't brown your meat!
You didn't know old Dick Johnson is a bit of a poet, did you. Yep! My dick is a Longfellow.
A guy is at the funeral home viewing his wife's coffin with a sad look on his face. His friend walks up to comfort him and says: "Don't worry Harry, you'll meet another woman."
"I know," Harry replied, "but what am I going to do tonight?"
Old Dick Johnson sometimes has to re-think relationships.
Right now I think I'm spending way too much time with my girlfriend's family... I think her husband is getting suspicious.
