Can't Wait To Get There

: Created: 26 August 2016; Hits: 3359

I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.

The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Her Most Affectionate Name

I'm laying back after screwing my wife & she whispers: "Honey, I think I'll call you the bus?"

I asked why and she said, "Because you always stop before I get off!"

And that's when the fight started...

Who You Calling Little?

Dwarf to doctor: You're pretty busy. You treat dwarfs?

Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.

Deductive Reasoning

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping. As they look up into the sky, Holmes asks, "Watson, tell me what you see."

Watson says, "I see millions of stars." Holmes then asks, "And what does that tell you?" Watson thinks for a minute then says, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes answers, "It tells me somebody stole our fucking tent."