Can't Wait To Get There

I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.

The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!

If the dove is The Bird Of Love, what's The Bird of True Love?

The swallow.

I took this divorced broad I met in a bar back to my place the other night. The next morning I asked her, "Well, how was I?"

She said, "The truth? I wasn't too happy with the size of your organ."

So I told her, "Yeah? Well I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral."

2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.