Can't Wait To Get There

: Created: 26 August 2016; Hits: 4123

I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.

The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Don't Blame Me

My wife was in labor with our first kid and she's cursing and screaming at me the whole time.

I told her: "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.'"

And that's when the fight started...

More Than Just Manners

My wife was complaining I fart too much, so she ripped a big one right back at me. I asked her, "Honey, you never did that when we were dating. How come?"

She said, "'Cause I didn't get an asshole till we were married."

And that's when the fight started...

Call Me Old Fashioned

You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?

Because they are tired of using their own.