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Bring Out The Tape Measure

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 18 September 2016
Hits: 2677

Why are dicks like fish?

You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.

Who's Counting

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 17 September 2016
Hits: 2365

My wife was angry. She said: "It's unfair! A guy can screw a different girl every week and he's considered a stud. But if a girl screws even two guys in a year she's called a slut."

So I man-splained it to her: "Think of it this way. If a key opens lots of locks it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys... well... it's a shitty lock."

And that's when the fight started...

 

Let Me Introduce You To

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 16 September 2016
Hits: 2598

What did one whore's knee say to the other?

Nothing... they never met.

Deductive Reasoning

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 15 September 2016
Hits: 2961

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping. As they look up into the sky, Holmes asks, "Watson, tell me what you see."

Watson says, "I see millions of stars." Holmes then asks, "And what does that tell you?" Watson thinks for a minute then says, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes answers, "It tells me somebody stole our fucking tent."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Turnabout is Fair Play

Three blonde men are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across.

The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river. So God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.

The second man prays to God to make him even smarter. So God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across.

Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all. So God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.

Don't Mix These Up

A Polish guy didn't know the difference between incest & arson.

He set his sister on fire.

Listen To Your Mother...

Did you hear about the Jewish mother doll?

You pull the string and it says, "Again with the string..."

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