What did one whore's knee say to the other?
Nothing... they never met.
What do Dracula's girlfriend and a washed up boxer have in common?
They both go down for the count!
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."
So I bought her a scale.
And that's when the fight started...
What's the difference between love and herpes?
Love doesn't last forever.
