Definition Of Confidence

What is the definition of confidence?

When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You're next Baby... !"

A girl walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Give me a double entendre."

So he gave it to her.

Two lawyers were leaving the office. "I can't wait to get home," says one. "As soon as I walk in the door I'm going to rip my wife's panties off."

"I know the feeling." his partner says.

"No, I'm serious," says the first guy. "They're killing me."

What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest?

A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off.