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Every Frickin' Joke

One Day in a Meadow

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 22 September 2016
Hits: 2977

One day a horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow when the horse falls into a mudhole and begins sinking. He calls to the chicken to go get the farmer to pull him out. The chicken runs back to the farm but the farmer is nowhere to be seen. So thinking fast the chicken jumps in the farmer's Porsche and drives back to the mudhole. He ties a rope around the bumper then throws the other end to his friend, the horse. Driving the car forward he saves his friend from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again, only this time it's the chicken who falls into the mudhole. The chicken yells to the horse to go get the farmer for help. The horse says, "Wait a minute. I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretches himself over the width of the hole and says, "Grab my dick and hoist yourself up." And the chicken does excatly that and is able to pull himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!

 

Mental Health

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 21 September 2016
Hits: 2761

I turned my whole life around.

I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.

A Good Day on the High Seas

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 20 September 2016
Hits: 2578

A good-looking teenage girl went out fishing with six older guys.

She came home with a red snapper.

A Married Couple's Point of View

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 19 September 2016
Hits: 2575

A married couple has sex and it's a real quickie.

The wife cries because it's over.

And the husband smiles because it happened.

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By Reputation

The teacher was explaining to her pupils the importance of responsibility and was looking to assign a team to do an important job for the class. She told them: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."

Little Johnny jumped up and shouted: "I'm the one you want teach'. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Picture Perfect

I thought I could please my wife by offering her a sumptuous breakfast in bed. So I asked her what would be her perfect breakfast.

She said: "My perfect breakfast would be a cup of gourmet coffee. Our son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Our daughter is on the cover of Business Week. And your face is on the back of the milk carton."

And that's when the fight started...

Out The Door

Two lawyers were leaving the office. "I can't wait to get home," says one. "As soon as I walk in the door I'm going to rip my wife's panties off."

"I know the feeling." his partner says.

"No, I'm serious," says the first guy. "They're killing me."

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