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One Day in a Meadow

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 22 September 2016
Hits: 3275

One day a horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow when the horse falls into a mudhole and begins sinking. He calls to the chicken to go get the farmer to pull him out. The chicken runs back to the farm but the farmer is nowhere to be seen. So thinking fast the chicken jumps in the farmer's Porsche and drives back to the mudhole. He ties a rope around the bumper then throws the other end to his friend, the horse. Driving the car forward he saves his friend from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again, only this time it's the chicken who falls into the mudhole. The chicken yells to the horse to go get the farmer for help. The horse says, "Wait a minute. I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretches himself over the width of the hole and says, "Grab my dick and hoist yourself up." And the chicken does excatly that and is able to pull himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!

 

Mental Health

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 21 September 2016
Hits: 3061

I turned my whole life around.

I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.

A Good Day on the High Seas

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 20 September 2016
Hits: 2868

A good-looking teenage girl went out fishing with six older guys.

She came home with a red snapper.

A Married Couple's Point of View

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 19 September 2016
Hits: 2888

A married couple has sex and it's a real quickie.

The wife cries because it's over.

And the husband smiles because it happened.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Switcheroo

A man went into a local bar and took a seat next to a pretty woman. He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I’m celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman, "I’m celebrating, too". She clinked glasses with him and asked, "What are you celebrating?" "I’m a chicken farmer," he replied. "For years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally fertile." "What a coincidence" the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years. Today, my gynecologist told me I’m finally pregnant!" And she clinked glasses with the farmer again.

"By the way" she asked, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I switched cocks," the farmer replied.

To which the woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence."

Some Extra Cash

A hooker visits her doctor and asks him to put a hole in her hip.

The doc asks, "Why?"

The hooker tells him, "So I can do a little work on the side."

Driver's Ed

Why can't blondes parallel park? 'Cause guys keep telling them that 4 inches is really 8 inches.

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