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Every Frickin' Joke

One Day in a Meadow

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 22 September 2016
Hits: 3377

One day a horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow when the horse falls into a mudhole and begins sinking. He calls to the chicken to go get the farmer to pull him out. The chicken runs back to the farm but the farmer is nowhere to be seen. So thinking fast the chicken jumps in the farmer's Porsche and drives back to the mudhole. He ties a rope around the bumper then throws the other end to his friend, the horse. Driving the car forward he saves his friend from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again, only this time it's the chicken who falls into the mudhole. The chicken yells to the horse to go get the farmer for help. The horse says, "Wait a minute. I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretches himself over the width of the hole and says, "Grab my dick and hoist yourself up." And the chicken does excatly that and is able to pull himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!

 

Mental Health

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 21 September 2016
Hits: 3169

I turned my whole life around.

I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.

A Good Day on the High Seas

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 20 September 2016
Hits: 2957

A good-looking teenage girl went out fishing with six older guys.

She came home with a red snapper.

A Married Couple's Point of View

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 19 September 2016
Hits: 2983

A married couple has sex and it's a real quickie.

The wife cries because it's over.

And the husband smiles because it happened.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Get My Gun

There once was a farmer who had three daughters. All three were going on a date on the same night, so he decided to meet their dates at the front door with a shotgun, just to let them know he was protective.

The first boy showed up and said "Hi, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo. We're going to a show. Is she ready to go?" The farmer approved and sent them on their way.

Then the second boy arrived and he said "Hi, my name is Freddie, I'm here for Betty. We're going for spaghetti. Is she ready?" The farmer approved and sent them on their way as well.

Finally, the third boy arrived and he said "Hi my name is Chuck, ..." And the farmer shot him.

STDs Can Be Pretty Rough

What did the guy say to his dick when he saw the girl he was about to fuck had genital warts?

"Hang on, boy! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!"

Union Rules

How many teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Twelve ... you got a problem?

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