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Bring Out The Tape Measure

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Why are dicks like fish?

You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Birds and the Bees

Little schoolgirl asks her mom: "Is it true that babies come out where boys put their wieners in?" "Yes, honey." her mom assures her.

"Won't that knock my teeth out?"

That's One Way to Get Nothing Done

Put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together... what do you have?

100 people who don't do dick.

More Meat Please

A guy from America asked the gal from Sweden to dance at the college fraternity party. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call that a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sweden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call that a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a whole lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her. While he's pumping away he leans over and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".

She says, "Yaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too. Only we usually put more meat in it."