What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo night.
A married couple has sex and it's a real quickie.
The wife cries because it's over.
And the husband smiles because it happened.
Dwarf to doctor: You're pretty busy. You treat dwarfs?
Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.
Teacher to the class: "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"
So Little Johnny raises his hand: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"
The Teacher said looked puzzled but answered: "Of course not Johnny."
To which Little Johnny answered: "Then I have definitely crapped my pants."
