What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo night.
Who's the world's greatest athlete?
The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
My wife and I had our usual back and forth at breakfast when I finally said: "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice."
And that's when the fight started...
Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?
He said he could stop anytime.
