What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo night.
Many people have been asking who I'm voting for in the next election. My answer:
"To tell you the truth, I'm never voting again...Because voting is like marriage, no matter who you choose, it turns out bad."
What's the best way to keep kitty litter fresh?
Kill your cat.
Before you have sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress by yourself.
The moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.
