I turned my whole life around.
I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.
What do Dracula's girlfriend and a washed up boxer have in common?
They both go down for the count!
What do you call 8 days of blowjobs by candlelight?
Honica Lewinsky.
Did you hear about the Jewish mother doll?
You pull the string and it says, "Again with the string..."
