I turned my whole life around.
I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
Keep this in mind... a honeymoon should only be for six days. Why? Because seven days make a whole week.
In fact, don't go on your honeymoon for longer than 5 days, or you will get a weak end.
Just sayin'...
A guy is interviewing a blonde for a job.
He says, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"
She says, "The living one."
