I turned my whole life around.
I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.
Baby seal walks into a bar.
Bartender says "What'll it be?"
Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."
Johnson finds wife in bed with a friend, shoots him.
"Keep behaving like that you'll lose all your friends." she snaps at him.
And that's when the fight started...
Two gay guys live together. The first guy says, "Let's play hide and seek. I'll hide, and if you can find me, I'll blow you."
The second guy asks, "What if I can't find you?"
His roomy tells him, "I'll be behind the piano."
