Every Frickin' Joke

Easy To Figure Out

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 17 February 2017; Hits: 2334

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

Wipe Nair On, Wipe Hair Off

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 16 February 2017; Hits: 2982

How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?

A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

Don't Do It

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 15 February 2017; Hits: 2889

You should never make jokes about vaginas...

Period.

What Are You Doing Today?

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 14 February 2017; Hits: 3405

Old Dick Johnson has some big plans for today, I'm gonna spend Valentines day with my ex...... box 360.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

What To Do When The Car Is At The Mechanic

It's a really hot day, and a penguin takes his car to a mechanic. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there, he climbs inside the big freezer to sit and eat his ice cream. An hour goes by when the penguin looks at his watch, jumps out of the freezer and races back to the mechanic.

With ice cream all over his face and his stomach, he asks, "So how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, I was just eating ice cream."

Save A Trip To The Pet Shop

I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...

A Dream Shattered

My wife came out of the shower, winked at me and said, "I shaved my pussy! You know what that means?"

I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."

And that's when the fight started...