How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Why is a pussy like the weather?
Because once it's wet, you know it's time to go inside.
Guy goes to his boss and asks for a day off, proudly saying: "My wife's gonna have a baby!" The boss tells him of course you can take the day off.
Two days later the guy shows up for work and the boss asks him: "So... was it a boy or a girl."
The guy replies: "How do I know... it takes nine months!"
Guy to his friend: "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes & no clothes to wear."
Friend tells him: "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."
