What's the worst thing about anal sex with a horse?
When it's his turn.
A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"
His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."
Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"
His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"
"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."
What did the fresh egg say to the boiling water when the farmer's wife dropped it in?
Don't expect me to get hard so fast... I just got laid by some chick a minute ago.
A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"
He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"