A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Save A Trip To The Pet Shop

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 2170

I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...

One Day Down At The Head Shop

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2149

Why are roach clips called roach clips?

Because "pot holder" was already taken.

Not What She Was Hoping For

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2338

What does a Polish girl get on her wedding night that is long and hard?

A new last name.

Turn The Whole Thing Around

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2214

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?

So men can understand them.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Tough To Find Good Help

Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."

Wife: "My husband said that?"

"No, all the landscapers."

Take Your Medicine

A guy goes to the pharmacist and says: "Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night? It's going to be a hell of a party." The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and tells him: "This stuff is potent: drink only one ounce of it, and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know how it goes."

The weekend goes by and on Monday morning the pharmacist finds the same guy waiting for him outside the store. The pharmacist asks: "What are you doing here so early? And how was your weekend?" The guy replies: "Quick, I need Ben-Gay for the pain." The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says: "Are you crazy, you can't put Ben-Gay down there. The skin is way too sensitive." The guy says: "No, no, It's not for that, it's for my arm." The pharmacist asks": "What?? What happened?" Guy replies, "Well...I drank the whole bottle of your potion." The pharmacist: "Oh my god, and then what?"

"The girls never showed up!"

A Night On The Town

After a night of drinking, drugs and wild sex, I woke up to find myself next to a really ugly woman.  

That's when I realized I made it home safely.