You should never make jokes about vaginas...
Period.
My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."
So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."
And that's when the fight started...
Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.
Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
