A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

The Clock Is Ticking

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2928

What's the definition of eternity?

The time between when you cum and when she leaves.

Sounds Like My Ex-Wife

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2708

What's a necrophiliac's biggest complaint about sex?

She just kinda lays there.

All The Same

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 3166

My wife was lying in bed a little dissatisfied with my performance when she asked: "What do my clitoris, our anniversary, and the fuckin' toilet have in common?" I said "You got me."

She said: "You miss them all."

And that's when the fight started...

We Have A Runner

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2939

Why did the woman cross the road?

Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Baby Polar Bear

A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"

His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."

Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"

His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."

Not the Same Old Routine

My wife wanted to be a little playful, so she whispered: "Say dirty things to me!"

So I said: "Bathroom, kitchen, living room..."

And that's when the fight started...

First Door On The Left

A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender in the eye and says, "Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink?"

The bartender thinks for a moment and says, "Sure, the toilet's right around the corner."