A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

The Clock Is Ticking

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2928

What's the definition of eternity?

The time between when you cum and when she leaves.

Sounds Like My Ex-Wife

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2708

What's a necrophiliac's biggest complaint about sex?

She just kinda lays there.

All The Same

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 3166

My wife was lying in bed a little dissatisfied with my performance when she asked: "What do my clitoris, our anniversary, and the fuckin' toilet have in common?" I said "You got me."

She said: "You miss them all."

And that's when the fight started...

We Have A Runner

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2939

Why did the woman cross the road?

Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Who Doesn't Love A Younger Woman

What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?

A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

The Race Is On

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots & starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

What To Do When The Car Is At The Mechanic

It's a really hot day, and a penguin takes his car to a mechanic. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there, he climbs inside the big freezer to sit and eat his ice cream. An hour goes by when the penguin looks at his watch, jumps out of the freezer and races back to the mechanic.

With ice cream all over his face and his stomach, he asks, "So how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, I was just eating ice cream."