Every Frickin' Joke

Mother-In-Law's Gift

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 04 October 2014; Hits: 2943

Last year, I bought my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

This year I didn't buy her anything..

When my wife asked me why I didn't buy her mother a gift this year I told her "Hey, she never used the gift I bought her last year!"

And that's when the fight started...

Women Are A Mystery

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 03 October 2014; Hits: 3303

Why can't a woman ever be satisfied?

Because no man has a dick made out of chocolate that shoots money.

Happy Anniversary

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 02 October 2014; Hits: 3074

I asked my wife: "Where do you want to go for our anniversary, honey?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested: "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started...

Cop Pulls A Guy Over

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 01 October 2014; Hits: 3960

A cop pulls a guy over and says, "Hey pal... did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"

"Thank God... I thought I went deaf."

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Kosher for Passover

A husband sees his wife is getting ready to prepare for Passover. "This year I really want to help out." he tells her, "Whatever you need me to do, ask... I will do it." His wife tells him, "Don't take this the wrong way, but the best thing you can do to help is to leave the house and let me get my work done without any interruptions." So the husband does exactly what she asks and leaves.

Three hours later his wife hears him come back in. She shouts, "I thought I told that the best way to help me would be to leave." He responds, "You expect me to help the whole day?"

And that's when the fight started...

We Have A Runner

Why did the woman cross the road?

Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?

The Special Key

Three girls died and went before the pearly gates where St. Peter and his angel stopped them. St. Peter said: "Before entering heaven you must answer a simple question - have you been a good girl?"

The first girl replied: "Oh yes. I was a virgin before I got married and was still a virgin even after I got married." "Very good", said St.Peter, "Angel, give this girl... the golden key"

The second girl answered: "Oh, quite good. I was a virgin before I got married but not after." "Also very good", said St.Peter, "Angel, for this girl give her the silver key"

Finally St. Peter turns to the third girl and asks: "Have you been a good girl?" She answered: "Oh no, not at all. I practically screwed every guy I met, before, and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime, any position.

"Hmmm... I see", said St.Peter, "Angel, give this girl my room key!"