Women Are A Mystery

Why can't a woman ever be satisfied?

Because no man has a dick made out of chocolate that shoots money.

My dick is so smart it was Valedictorian of my senior class. My prom date was voted most likely to succeed. Say it slowly... you'll get it.

I asked my wife to give me a blow job. She said "Can't you be more romantic?"

So I told her "Sure, give me a blow job... in the rain."

And that's when the fight started...

What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?

Cowboy hats are for assholes.