Women Are A Mystery

Why can't a woman ever be satisfied?

Because no man has a dick made out of chocolate that shoots money.

Why is sperm white and piss yellow?

So you know if you're cumming or going!

How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?

You start asking your wife for sex.

I told my wife, "Honey, I bought some Olympic condoms today. I think I'll wear Gold tonight."

She replied, "Why not wear Silver and not finish first for a change?"

And that's when the fight started...